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RelapseIt’s like counting
along your limbs -
remembering a time
‘just one more’
made you feel better.
- & you’re sitting there
Draco, stuck in limbo
always looks like he’s
We fight for our dream.
We're just waiting to die.
The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.
The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.
So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?
Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?
Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"
Battle in my MindEat.
Take it easy.
Work out until you pass out.
Get help.Tell someone.
Keep it a secret. It's only for you and me.
Why won't you listen?
They don't understand.
Let me help you.
You don't understand.
I love you..
the name that cuts like a knife,
it's all that you see inside,
is breaking with every breath I take
the only thing I can't seem to face.
In The Daylight
In The Daylight
A false downfall
An unexpected revival
Sunset to moonset
Shining through darkness
In the valley of promises- I will fear no end
On the brink of weakness- I will ascend
Roads of the toughest
Paths of the darkest
I conditioned my flawed limits
So fearful memories won't be paralytic
I had to raise my own spirit
Strength and endurance become so vivid
A chance for change / A moment of fate
A time to make peace / A brief feeling of creed
A sealing of my slate / A silencing of my mistakes
A secret ready to be freed / A chain soon-to-be incomplete
Pain and peace are infinite
Judge the wrat
Ode to the boy with diamonds for eyesI think we were a collision course waiting to happen
And when I think back to the day when we first
Stumbled across one another, red sneakers hanging off gutters
Cherry cola voice overs and dilated pupils
We led one another on to believe in the night sky of connect the dot constellations
You wanted to dissect me and peer into the insides of my lungs
Only to find witches breath and dandelions
Slicing iron vowels you locked your hands in mine
And we fell into the static of dreaming disease
The operating table broke away to reveal a sky that never existed
And we couldn't help but laugh at the irony
Because wishing was never an option
wallflower clippingsthere's scar tissue in her throat,
swollen around the words she never said;
dark rings around her eyes
like planets unremembered, and
a staleness to her touch,
the crystalline Dead Sea.
she's living like a story
that's already been told
"if no one loved you
would you mean anything at all?"
in that moment,
we forget to exist.
Our MasksThe masks we wear are perfect
Never loose and rarely tight
They keep us safe from others
And keep our demons out of sight
They smile when we are broken
And laugh when we simply must
No blemish or imperfection
A creation that will never rust.
I seldom ever remember
Who I am without my mask
That to peel off that layer
Is such a daunting task
All others carry one as well
Wherever they may go
And no matter what is on their minds
Only the molded mask will show.
The lies they preach in public
Or the scars along their wrists
Are left mute to others knowledge
Ignorance is such a splendid gift
My mask is oh so perfect
Not a crack will show
We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.
It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.
We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.
There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so
People don't even look
when they walk by.
Nobody even asks my ideas,
Nobody even knows
who I am.
When people see me,
they either ignore me,
or ask a question:
"Who are you?"
But they don't even bother
to listen to my response:
Forgotton by everyone.
Forgotton by my friends, my allies.
Maybe one day
Someone will remember my name.
Her SideTomorrow she'll be gone,
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.
But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.
That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.
But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.
No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.
So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.
Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.
In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.
There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop
Lost In ConfusionLost In Confusion
My mind is spinning without a rest
Emotions whirl and twirl around
A merry-go-round gaining speed
Until the world blurrs before my eyes
What's happening? What's going on?
The simplest thought slips away
Right from my mind, fading so fast
Trying to focus, I stare and stare
Until my eyes are heavy and unclear.
I don't understand, what is going on..
Emotions rise and fall again
Within the blink of an eye
I'm crying, laughing, and depressed
A roller-coaster ride that never ends
Am I losing my mind in this?
I try to close my eyes and rest
But the world spins me around
I feel like I am failing this test
Voices and noises echo
Deactivatedthere are voids and black holes
papercuts sinking deep into
only to meet the unmarred love
of bones, strong and
bare and pure.
dark oceans are bleached
into tears that leave nothing
but sea salt in my lips
and my words are injustice
to the death of
this is me
trying to be
trying to preserve the ardor
of your words
and the honey sweet taste
of your passion
how my lungs work
(when I don't read something from you
I die more than a little on the inside).
With This RingWith this ring,
I swear to keep myself pure.
To not give myself away until the night of my marriage,
To the one whom God has chosen for me.
With this ring,
I swear to avoid the temptations
That may lead me astray
And defile me.
With this ring
I swear to not only keep my body pure,
But to keep pure my mind.
To not think perverted thoughts,
To not corrupt myself from within.
With this ring,
I swear that all of what I am will be pure
For he who is to be my husband.
Chiyoko Has Returned Part 2Two years…
It had been two whole years. She missed his face. His eyes were her favorite. A deep reddish brown that was always warm… Except right now.. she could see the hurt in them, no matter how much he tried to hide it. He was hurt, and she had caused it.. That’s not what she wanted to do, but at least she knew now….She had missed him as much as she knew he missed her.
He had more scars now.
She supposed that’s what happened when you were a shinobi. You got hurt….
She wished that she could trust herself more, and that she hadn’t left. But she needed to… And now she knew she loved him c
Chiyoko Has Returned Part 1Chiyoko walked into the town of Omoichidou, looking around. To her, a lot seemed to have changed. Daiki was sitting outside his shop smoking, watching the smoke rise as he exhaled into the morning air. Chiyoko smiled faintly. He was smoking now?
His choice, she supposed. Why not.
Chiyoko tugged at the hood of her dark green robe, hoping no one would recognize her right away. She didn’t want to be seen yet, she wanted to be the one seeing. She looked at Eita’s house- the first place she wanted to go to…the first person she wanted to see. Ruri-san had made her a stuffed toy of Eita, and she carried it with her and kept it s
Bishie Story beginning.. ehehhe"Katsuki!"
The sandy-blonde turned, standing near the edge of the cliff by her village. "Oh, Sensei."
The tall pale-haired man frowned at her. "Just what do you think you're doing, Katsuki."
She gave a silky laugh at his frown and annoyed tone. "Whatever do you mean, Sensei? I told you, I must leave the village."
"Why. You're along the path to be the best infiltration ninja we have."
"Oh, Sensei, don't be silly. You're the best." she stuck her tongue out at him.
He chuckled softly. "Even still. You have talent."
"And who says I cannot use my talent elsewhere." she bat her eyes at him, stepping backwards toward the cliff.
I wonder ...
I wonder if everyone would remember me if I stopped talking to them, and how many people would worry.
I wonder if everyone would think it’s strange that
I dropped off the face of the planet.
I wonder if I could live with not talking to anyone;
maybe that would help my loneliness, maybe.
I wonder how long it would take for people to notice that I was gone.
I wonder if perhaps no one would notice, and that scares me a lot.
I wonder sometimes, when it’s late at night, if anyone cares.
I wonder if I’ll get diabetes.
I wonder if that’s what will kill me eventually.
I wonder if there are monsters in my closet, und
Daiki/Nanase/Collab with prompts!Daiki tightened the black bandages around his wrists, flexing his fingers in silence.
Nanase twirled her hair nervously. Her eyes were locked on the dog who sat at her feet, wagging his tail.
"Wh-What d-do you want, D-Dragon?" She mumbled.
Dragon nudged her knee, whining. He wanted to come with them, but he wasn't a ninja dog; he wouldn't be much of a help.
Daiki sighed, patting his head. "No, Dragon, you're not coming."
Nanase glanced a Daiki before ripping her gaze away, her face turning a deep red. "S-Sorry, Dragon..." She mumbled. She didn't want to go on this mission - she wanted to do anything but! She was too delicate, too fragile.
Dai-Nana- I will not let you out of my sight.
I will not let you get hurt.
I swear on my life.
It won’t happen.
Daiki woke to Nanase’s scream downstairs; she’d woken up before him to go downstairs and make breakfast. “Nanase!” he sat up, grabbing a shirt and his hammer, pulling the shirt on over his head quickly and practically flying down the stairs.
Two men held his wife by her wrists, holding a knife to her neck. She trembled, looking up at him in terror. “D-Daiki—”
“Pretty little thing you’ve got here.” One of them hissed, brushing his hand along her cheek. She flinched,
Y'know..Love... is a feeling.
And around this time of year
Our feelings sometimes get out of whack.
And... it gets us to thinking.
About who we love most.
And y'know what?
Cancer... is a disease.
It kills, it destroys..
It maims, it ruins.
But... that damage is only done to the body.
Cancer can't kill family bonds,
It can't kill love, hope...
It can destroy nerves,
So we can't touch,
But it can't kill what we feel in our hearts.
Love is stronger than you think.
Love can bring us through anything.
Love can make us lift the crosses we each have to bear,
And make the weight so much easier to carry,
Especially if we have people to help.
A Reason to LiveIf only she had the guts to actually do it, to just leap among the cold waves and sink in death among the fish. She breathed in the smell and taste of saltwater, and water sprays hit her face, neck, and chest. She shivered slightly in the breeze from the waves, but she wasn’t really bothered by the chill. What weighed on her mind was something much deeper than the weather.
A pang of apprehension penetrated her heart as she envisioned her body being plunged into the water and weighted down by the strong waves. She thought about what it would be like to gulp in mouthful after mouthful of water, choking and never feeling any relief, b
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`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More